Last night I stood over my kids with my wooden kitchen spoon aka the “sad spoon” yelling and giving them the same long drawn out speech about why we have to sleep in our own beds, why you can’t talk back to adults...all about how their attitudes sucked and what the definition of respect was.
I’m a yeller...I yell a lot. Every single day. My voice reaches a level of 10. I’m not proud of it...but sometimes I think if I yell long enough I don’t have to spank...which usually doesn’t happen, but I still hold out hope.
We had to restart our prayers 4 times last night after the crying and fussing stopped and after my profound speech...4 times we had to start because my kids continued to interrupt with highly important things like “scoot over”...”she’s touching me”.... to say I was impatient and angry is laughable. I wanted my own bed, I wanted to finish watching Yellowstone, I wanted everything to go as planned and my kids to be all knowing when it comes to behavior!
15 minutes after I was finally tucked in bed watching my show and blissfully enjoying my personal space...he comes crying into my room...sobbing..”I miss Aiden”....it knocks you down and all we did was lay there and let him cry his grief away for now comforting him.
I suck at parenting daily and believe me our house isn’t ran with extreme ease...but this morning I was thankful for redemption.
I’m thankful to have a God I don’t have to hide my shame from, my daily screwups, my yelling, my impatience and my need for Him everyday. Mercies are new each morning!
I’m also thankful He doesn’t keep score because even though we had a blissful morning, I still got some yelling in this afternoon!!
Nobody is perfect.
