At 38 I never dreamed I would get to have another baby! For a while my husband and I said we were most likely finished having kids. We were grieving and both finding our way. Career changes and really going full speed with random things like the foundation, my podcast, a new business, writing...then things changed again and we found ourselves slowing down. Our family found a new rythem we were happy with, then we got that nudge. We wanted another baby, our hearts were ready and our kids were ready.
Throughout this pregnancy I reflected quite a bit on how I had changed so much as a woman and a mom, how I viewed things and went about things differently. My prayer life was so much different and I started seeking His guidance. I knew I didn't want to allow anxiety and fears to consume me with this baby so I really dug into what it was that I needed to make the newborn phase easier for me.
The first of course was praying specifically for my trust in Him to be greater than my fears. I prayed anxiety would not consume me during those precious days and nights I would be home with a newborn and that she would be a healthy baby. Then I prayed to be able to breastfeed my baby and be equipped with all the education I could find and not rely on the notion that it was "natural " this time around. And lastly but not least I searched and searched for a list of things that I would NEED for our new baby such as cribs, car seats, breast pumps...all the "things".
When it came time to start gathering baby items I felt a certain sense of practical and necessity over maybe and a must have. As I searched Amazon and read baby blogs I began to see a trend of place's advertising items that were well over what I wanted to spend. We have adapted a more "simple" lifestyle with a less is more way. I try to live on a budget with us being a one income family and while the world was saying these items were must haves I quickly went back to my new mom days. I remember the alarm that went underneath the mattress that would alarm me if baby stopped breathing or the baby monitor I just had to have or the 50,000 baby washcloths I needed and I realized that I didn't need them. For me getting wrapped up in what the google search "baby must haves" was saying is what played a huge part in my anxiety.
You DO NOT need all the things, while yes a Doona is spectacular so is the used car seat and stroller I got for a total of $80. I chose to forgo an owlet monitor and a baby monitor all together because I knew those things raise my anxiety. I didn't set up a nursery or a crib but a travel bassinet that would stay by my side of the bed until she outgrows it because I knew trying to sleep train would again raise my stress and anxiety.
I really was shocked and quite appalled that the baby industry is literally raking in the big bucks with so many items babies may "need" and creating the stigma that they are "must haves". Our country truly makes it so expensive to have babies today. The search for a breast pump proved to me how ridiculous it is that a mom has to pay an extreme amount of money for these newer wearable breast pumps. Am I right?! In my mind this should be something that is attainable for everyone especially when it comes to feeding a baby and the nationwide formula shortage. I was so thankful to stumble across the site Avenfloe that took my insurance information, got a doctor order and sent me a Spectra pump without a charge. It wasn't long ago that we didn't have insurance so I know what a blessing it is.
Now please don't mistake my thoughts and decisions as judging you for choosing all the "must haves" or pushing a Doona, I'm not. I'm simply saying it's okay if you choose the bare necessities or if you have to use second hand. You are not less than and your baby won't know the difference. This "starting " over season we are in has been really freeing in finding true contentment in having less, soaking in the simple and saying no to the constant badgering of items the advertisement industry says we need.
Mommas we need a foundation in Him, a rocking prayer life and an abundance of love above all the "must haves".
Xoxo
Megan
